At the Pond

June, 2012

The idea to build what what came to be named the Tea House arose from a sense of deficiency. I had never built a complete building, only completing carpentry and wood-working projects. If I was in my own eyes to become anything more than a jake-leg carpenter I would have to build without assistance a complete square free standing building, no matter the size. Also, I needed a place to observe the activities about the pond and there may have been a deeper reason: men, I have heard it said, need three places to go to attain a sense of contentment, otherwise we stalk about the house rattling the car keys and change in our respective pockets. As we have a home and I have a shop, outfitted with thousands of tools, the Tea House completed the male psychic trinity and building it did improve my self longer a jake-leg.

Long before the Tea House and shortly after the newly constructed pond filled with water the existing fauna and flora had to be enhanced. Which means I put in some fish, raised some ducks, and brush hogged around the pond. First, hybrid bream fingerlings were purchased from a nearby fish farm. Bream are  game fish, and more importantly, a school of bream should be established before large mouth bass are added to a farm pond.  Two years after the bream were introduced I caught  bass from my other two small ponds and turned them loose in the new big pond. Next, five sterilized grass carp were added for weed control. And the next step for an eco balanced pond was to fell small pine or cedar trees into the edge of the pond, thus providing newly hatched minnows a place to hide. Finally a pond needs ducks.

We ordered baby ducks, a dozen Mallards and a dozen domestic whites, from the Cackle Hatchery in Lebanon, Missouri and when they arrived we placed them in the smoke house, a sealed 8 by 12 foot building. Ducks are easy to raise. Clean water, clean food, heat lights and wood shavings on the floor and that is about it, except for making sure their butt holes don't get stopped up. I built a chicken wire fence so the critters could explore the great outdoors, but each night they were safely locked inside the smokehouse, as varmints dine on duck. The process is usually uneventful, but there was one memorable day.....memorable, that is for Vicky. Our neighbor has a brace of Greylag domestic geese and they came over to perform guard duty for the ducklings. They patrolled the parameter of the fence and repeatedly honked.  One morning Vicky noticed a duckling was caught in the fence and went to the rescue.  As she bent down to extricate the frightened duckling the geese attacked. She fought them off, but the bruises, welts, and scratches covered both her arms for weeks afterwards.

Flying is instinctive for mallards, but not landing. Whenever the fledging flyers took flight we would hurry to the big pond to watch the show. Sometimes they hit the water and tumbled tail over teakettle and other times they overshot the landing zone and rolled up on the shore. The shows only lasted a few days until they learned to circle and make smooth landings.

I mentioned the neighbors two vigilante geese. Well, at one time she had a flock of wild turkeys, mallards and geese that numbered over 100 birds. By the time we purchased our ducks, the neighbors flock had dwindled to the two geese and one mallard drake. The flock was able to steer clear of coyotes, until nesting time. I guess the coyotes ambushed both male and females when they were on or guarding the nest. A similar fate befell our ducks, the coyotes picked them off one at a time. The few white ducks that avoided coyotes, became found of sleeping on the warm pavement of nearby Highway 73 and were eventually flattened by log trucks. Life in the country is not always bucolic.

An example of non-bucolic is bees, the Carpenter Bee bores holes and make tunnels in the wood to raise their young and to over winter.  In Spring they act with bravado, buzzing about your head and chasing birds, but they are harmless. On the other hand, the Bumble Bee, which closely resembles the carpenter bee but nests in the ground, can bring you to your knees. I could go on about the dangers of country living;  but you just have to experience it, like living in Japan and learning to look right when you cross a street.



As I had the pond constructed I felt it was my prerogative to set the rules. My rules are simple: no snakes and no green head turtles.  I don't have truck with the serpent kingdom and turtles poach the fish. Getting rid of snakes was easy, except on one occasion. I shot a water moccasin sunning on the bank and then discovered it had two companions that came after me. The last one advanced to the end of the rifle barrel before being dispatched. But, turtles are an ongoing nuisance.  I was in the local hardware purchasing .22 shells when the proprietor asked me what I planned to shoot. I told him the turtles in my pond and he, mock serious, replied , "Don't you know turtles are an endangered species?" I said, "You better believe they are endangered, I plan to blow their little green heads off."  As long as there is habitat, there will be turtles. Long after I am dead and gone the turtles will dominate the pond, unless the next owner is vigilante. Endangered my foot.

The Greylags and the Mallard come to the house almost daily and demand handouts, but otherwise hang out on the big pond. Their presence there entices wild ducks and geese to drop in for visits, especially during migration. The Mallard has attracted a number of female companions, but they eventually move on leaving the place bound dude to himself. He does not seem to miss them when they are gone. I have observed no periods of duck depression. The Mallard, unoriginally named Daffy, was part of a flock of Mallards belonging to man called Shorty, long deceased, who brought them to the area almost 30 years ago.  I don't know the life expectancy of a Mallard, but Daffy may be the oldest one in the world.

Behind the pond is a pine copse where I saw a cow beginning to calf late yesterday. This morning I went out first thing and being unable to locate the cow went on to the the gym for my daily regimen. Afterwards I resumed to search and found the calf dead and deformed. The thing had no eyes and no ears. The cow was nearby and seemed in good health, so there was at least one bit of good news. Buzzards were on the scene. Yuck. I think I'll go work in the garden.

So finally the construction of the pond paid off. Catching and releasing bass is an option when the weather is favorable, watching the changing  sunlight or moonlight on the water is gratifying, and  just sitting at the Tea House is a daily inactivity.

Another setback at the Tea House.

Under the  porch is a straight back chair. One fine day in  June I was sitting in the chair when I heard something large moving around above my head. First I looked on the roof and found nothing, then I opened the door and looked inside, again nothing. To close the door I had to reach the latch wire at the top of the door near the eaves of the building. My hand was suddenly a few inches away from a snake under the eves. Its ugly head was bigger than my fist. After making an incredibly fast leap backwards for a man of 78, I sent a few choice curse words in the direction of the snake then went to the golf cart parked nearby for a pistol. When I returned the thing had not moved and was stating at me with cold yellow reptilian eyes. It was dispatched with one shot. Then I  dug the thing out with a boat paddle and stretched it out: over six feet long. For the next few days I was on high alert around the Tea House because snakes like these usually are found in pairs. Sure enough a few days later I saw the mate slithering from the ground into a place under the cedar siding. Snake number two was also dispatched and thankfully proved to be much smaller.

The time spend sitting at the Tea House has been reduced to nil. The dreaded copper headed water rattler, as described by Louis Grizzard, has ruined my play house.

May 20, 2017

As stated above, our neighbor had an enormous flock or flocks of birds: ducks, geese, wild turkeys, and guinea fowl, but over time coyotes devoured all but two geese and one mallard drake. That sad  cotillion gathered on our pond and eventually made this place their home. The mallard has been a fine addition to the homestead, he come up from  time to  time to be fed and is beautiful when in full plumage. The geese, on the other hand, are unwelcomed. They squawk, poop everywhere, and try to kidnap the chickens. Once a baby chicken was caught in the fence and when Vic was removing it from the fence a goose attacked...she was black and blue for a week.

About a year ago an alligator visited the pond and ate one of the geese. We were sorry the alligator was unable to eat both geese, as the single goose became even more obnoxious. He squawked all night for months before deciding to take up with the cows; following them around, grazing when they grazed, and lying down when they did. However, he did not stop coming in the yard with the duck and schmoozing with the chickens. I used a bb air pistol to run him off, but he soon learned to move out of range when I approached. We considered killing him, but I could not bring myself to murder the poor thing.

This morning the mallard came up to be fed, but did not fly away afterwards as he usually does. Moreover, the goose was nowhere to be seen or heard. Later in the morning I drove the velocipede (golf cart) down to the big pond: the alligator had returned, nature had solved the goose problem.

May 22,

The alligator seems to come and go. One day he is coasting about the pond and the next day there is no sign of him. Daffy the mallard, has taken up residency in the carport. He either sleeps in the small pond in front of the cabin or flies off to another pond north of our place, but usually is around at breakfast time. He does not seem so depressed now days.

October 9, 2017

2007 The Ghost Pepper was certified as the hottest Chili Pepper on the planet in The Guinness Book of World Records, but has now been surpassed by other peppers. At the farmer's market this summer a young woman had several different kinds of peppers for sale and I asked her if she raised Ghost Peppers. Without a trace of a smile, she replied, "I ain't crazy."


Snow keeps accumulating; yesterday's tracks from the house to the casita were covered with fresh snow this morning. The driveway is impassable, but so what, the roads are too dangerous to navigate. Rolling blackout yesterday for three hours and expect more before the weather changes. The immediate concern is bird food. The forty pound bag of sunflower seed is depleted and the birds are now feeding on a limited supply of gourmet crackers.

The woodpile is shrinking but the supply should last for several more days. I discovered all of my boots have been discarded, so I trudge through the snow in clogs. Vicky has a good pair of rubber boots, so she ends up fetching firewood. The larder is well stocked as is the wine rack. I keep cooking heavy duty meals; lima bean soup, pasta carbonara, and for supper tonight..chicken and dumplings. Yum.

 All three ponds are frozen over, so Kyle will have to knock a hole through the ice with his tractor's font end loader, I remember having to to that with an ax years ago. The danger was slipping and falling in.

Vicky changed her appointment with the eye doctor from yesterday, to Friday. I am not sure we will be able to drive to Texarkana even then.

I have a good thick book, Ravenna: Capital of Empire, Crucible of Europe by Judith Herrin, so sitting by the wood burning stove and reading passes time in an pleasant way. Let it snow.